Anger Is My Friend: Rethinking Teen Anger Management

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No two young people are the same; their anger is not the same either.
There can be no one-size-fits-all anger management solution.

With her experiences of working with the most challenging, disengaged young people, Sam Ross has learned that any approach that loses the person and tries to treat the anger will always ultimately fail. Instead, it is all about relationship, about communication, about exchange and understanding the individual ways that anger is a friend to many teens.

Testimonies

Writing in the voice of a teen, she provides insight into many of the thought processes that can motivate young people to use anger as a survival tool; the tool that they often view as their closest friend, their ‘certainty amidst uncertainty’.

Writing in her own voice, she provides practical advice and suggestions for those working with young people. Providing numerous strategies to help them to engage with young people on this issue and to help them better understand their individual anger and the role it plays in their life, she helps workers tailor anger management interventions for the teen in front of them, with the building of relationship at its heart.

With free downloadable resources and further reading on the accompanying webpage, you will be on the fast track to working better and smarter with your teens. You will see more of them getting to grips with their anger and becoming the happy, motivated, ‘the world is my oyster’ teens that they deserve to be.

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Sections and chapters are as follows:

    What on earth is going on with them?
    Anger is my Friend
    When You See More than You See
    The Family Line
    I Swore

    What To Do?
    In the Heat: Performance or Rage?
    Anatomy of a Trigger: The Anger Debrief
    The Anger Balancing Act: Consequences vs Relationship?
    What Did I Do?: The Anger Debrief for Workers
    Why Don’t They Care?: Unveiling the Victims, Discovering Empathy

    Overcoming the Challenge of Disengagement
    I Will Not Look
    ‘How Do I Feel?’ Are You Crazy?
    ‘I Hate You’: A Powerful Tool for Change
    The Paper Exchange
    What’s the Point? Magical Tools & Resource Rabbit Holes
    They Put Me In A Group
    Overcoming Resistance to Change: The Strongest Argument You Can Make For Change Is Not To

    Moving On
    When You See More Than You See: The Other Side

 

Latest reviews:

“Excellent book that provides a different lens through which to view “defiant” teenagers. I saw many of my clients in the descriptions–and the author’s analysis clarified many of many own thoughts in this area. The insights from this book will help many counselors, teachers and caregivers seen the world through the teenager’s eyes. And, given that an empathetic connection is an essential precursor and support for any therapeutic change, this alone makes the book worth reading.” Amazon.com

“This unique book puts you behind the facade of an angry teenager telling things in their own words and then provides advice, help and support for everyone working with them, teachers, social workers and youth justice service. I wish this had been available in the 60’s when I started out as a naive teacher.” Amazon.co.uk

Latest testimonials:

Ideas how to approach situations and behavior differently
I have found it very helpful in trying to understand and empathize with my troubled teenage granddaughter. I like that you provide insight into their perspective, and give ideas how to approach situations and behavior differently.

Grandparent

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T11:20:26+00:00

Grandparent

I have found it very helpful in trying to understand and empathize with my troubled teenage granddaughter. I like that you provide insight into their perspective, and give ideas how to approach situations and behavior differently.
Insight and perspective
Teenage Whisperer gives me insight and perspective. It reminds me to step back and consider the individual child and their issues. This allows me to support staff to do the same rather than using blanket phrases like 'year eight are mental' or 'this year group have issues'. It is also nice to signpost parents to the blog as many really struggle with the puberty years and the battles they face arguing with new teenagers.

Teacher

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T11:03:16+00:00

Teacher

Teenage Whisperer gives me insight and perspective. It reminds me to step back and consider the individual child and their issues. This allows me to support staff to do the same rather than using blanket phrases like 'year eight are mental' or 'this year group have issues'. It is also nice to signpost parents to the blog as many really struggle with the puberty years and the battles they face arguing with new teenagers.
Helping them find their answers
She helps me stop chasing my answers and to try and be with the young person looking for their answers.

Young People's Nurse

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T10:59:05+00:00

Young People's Nurse

She helps me stop chasing my answers and to try and be with the young person looking for their answers.
Supports the importance of hearing what teenagers have to say
She helps me to keep focused on the needs of the child/teenager and take into account their point of view. Their voices and experiences need to be listened to and taken notice of - Teenage Whisperer supports the importance of really hearing what teenagers have to say!

Safeguarding Trainer

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T11:10:47+00:00

Safeguarding Trainer

She helps me to keep focused on the needs of the child/teenager and take into account their point of view. Their voices and experiences need to be listened to and taken notice of - Teenage Whisperer supports the importance of really hearing what teenagers have to say!
Fantastic reading
Helps me to understand my own kids and the ones I volunteer with! It's fantastic reading. I especially like the creative writing from teenagers' perspectives- I wish more people would read this as it would certainly change the negative attitudes that some people have towards this age group.

Parent and Volunteer worker with teenagers

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T11:11:37+00:00

Parent and Volunteer worker with teenagers

Helps me to understand my own kids and the ones I volunteer with! It's fantastic reading. I especially like the creative writing from teenagers' perspectives- I wish more people would read this as it would certainly change the negative attitudes that some people have towards this age group.
One of the best publications
Sam Ross gives insight into how young people feel and think. This informs our work with young people and reminds us that we cannot assume we know how young people feel on every occasion. I forward the newsletter to our team and the feedback from staff is always very positive. I think it's one of the best publications we receive, which is honest and genuine, and gives a young person's perspective. Thank you.

Restorative Justice Co-ordinator

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T12:18:56+00:00

Restorative Justice Co-ordinator

Sam Ross gives insight into how young people feel and think. This informs our work with young people and reminds us that we cannot assume we know how young people feel on every occasion. I forward the newsletter to our team and the feedback from staff is always very positive. I think it's one of the best publications we receive, which is honest and genuine, and gives a young person's perspective. Thank you.
Ideas
Gives me ideas to use when training others.

Juvenile Probation Counselor

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
4.0
2018-09-24T11:14:52+00:00

Juvenile Probation Counselor

Gives me ideas to use when training others.
I’m not alone
Helps me to understand I'm not alone.

Parent of two teens

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T11:18:30+00:00

Parent of two teens

Helps me to understand I'm not alone.
Helps me explain teen behaviour to parents
I am a high school teacher and I deal with incredible kids everyday. I'm often used as the gateway and voice of the young person and their parents. It's good to know how to explain to parents the behaviour of the students without finger pointing or negativity. I often refer to you writing about the troubled teen holding in to the end of the line, thrashing about, in my sessions with parents. It also keeps me connected to the young people as I get older and further from their age group!

High School VET Coordinator and Careers Counsellor

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T12:22:17+00:00

High School VET Coordinator and Careers Counsellor

I am a high school teacher and I deal with incredible kids everyday. I'm often used as the gateway and voice of the young person and their parents. It's good to know how to explain to parents the behaviour of the students without finger pointing or negativity. I often refer to you writing about the troubled teen holding in to the end of the line, thrashing about, in my sessions with parents. It also keeps me connected to the young people as I get older and further from their age group!
Helps me relate
Helps me relate to the issues facing teenagers and that we aren't alone facing/tackling issues and difficulties.

Mother of 18 year old

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T12:05:14+00:00

Mother of 18 year old

Helps me relate to the issues facing teenagers and that we aren't alone facing/tackling issues and difficulties.
Shows the importance of listening to young people
The Teenage Whisperer has over the years guided me towards a more empathic way of working. It has encouraged me to make use of the most important resource available to those working with teenagers; I am referring to young people themselves, a vast pool of knowledge garnered from lived experience. The teenage whisperer has shown me that what a young person wants is as important, perhaps more important than what any text book may tell me they need. Thank you Teenage Whisperer.

Homelessness Support Worker (16-25 year olds)

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T11:54:12+00:00

Homelessness Support Worker (16-25 year olds)

The Teenage Whisperer has over the years guided me towards a more empathic way of working. It has encouraged me to make use of the most important resource available to those working with teenagers; I am referring to young people themselves, a vast pool of knowledge garnered from lived experience. The teenage whisperer has shown me that what a young person wants is as important, perhaps more important than what any text book may tell me they need. Thank you Teenage Whisperer.
I’ve learnt so much!
I've learnt more about troubled teens, helping me understand them better and be a better practitioner.

Youth Worker

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T11:17:26+00:00

Youth Worker

I've learnt more about troubled teens, helping me understand them better and be a better practitioner.
Amazing resource
Gives ideas, perspective and inspiration.

Crisis Intervention Team Lead

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T11:16:05+00:00

Crisis Intervention Team Lead

Gives ideas, perspective and inspiration.
Very relevant
Very clearly speaks for the teenager! I recognise all the teenagers from those I have worked with over the years.

Child and Adult Psychotherapist

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T12:24:04+00:00

Child and Adult Psychotherapist

Very clearly speaks for the teenager! I recognise all the teenagers from those I have worked with over the years.
Helps me better understand issues young people face
Sam Ross and Teenage Whisperer enable me to reflect on my practice and parenting with realistic experience and expertise sharing the real nitty gritty of their complex relationships. It helps me better understand issues young people face. I love how it is written from the young person's perspective. It helps me stop chasing my answers and try to be with the young person looking for their answers.

Parent and Sexual Health Nurse

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T11:07:26+00:00

Parent and Sexual Health Nurse

Sam Ross and Teenage Whisperer enable me to reflect on my practice and parenting with realistic experience and expertise sharing the real nitty gritty of their complex relationships. It helps me better understand issues young people face. I love how it is written from the young person's perspective. It helps me stop chasing my answers and try to be with the young person looking for their answers.
Innovative ideas and resources
She provides me with innovative ideas and resources to use with individuals with learning disabilities and their parents, carers and support workers that I support.

Behaviour Support in Secondary School

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T12:00:27+00:00

Behaviour Support in Secondary School

She provides me with innovative ideas and resources to use with individuals with learning disabilities and their parents, carers and support workers that I support.
There’s hope for our teens
My copy of 'Anger is My Friend' is totally dog-eared and I've bought a couple of copies for colleagues because I'm not lending mine! Teenage Whisperer reminds me that there's hope for our teens.

Teacher in a Pupil Referral Unit

Sam Ross Teenage Whisperer What I Need From You
5.0
2018-09-24T11:57:53+00:00

Teacher in a Pupil Referral Unit

My copy of 'Anger is My Friend' is totally dog-eared and I've bought a couple of copies for colleagues because I'm not lending mine! Teenage Whisperer reminds me that there's hope for our teens.
4.0
17

Available on all international Amazon sites in paperback and Kindle* versions. Available with free international delivery at Book Depository. Buy now!

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Some chapters are updated, extended and tailored to the issue of anger, from posts on her popular ‘Teenage Whisperer’ blog and others are brand new material exclusive to the book.

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